15 results for tag: Authentic Self


You Look Weird Dancing Like That

I'm this guy. I am the weird guy on the dance floor, at Yoga class and the beach. I swim and play in the waves like a twelve year old. I am (mostly) comfortable in my skin and with people thinking I am weird.  I am aware that most people do not have that experience when people think or say they are weird. Many people feel like being "weird" is a criticism, insult or putdown, certainly not a compliment. I understand that when someone tells you they think you are weird, it may create doubt or as sense of not belonging or being "normal". It was not always like this for me. I was actually a DJ for decades in clubs and events that wouldn't dance because ...

18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors, since we have diverse training, backgrounds and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no", protecting yourself, letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace, are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list, "Feelings are not facts."  I wish we would all be able to integrate this nugget of wisdom in our lives!
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Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability

Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of others men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man that is strong, stable and "tough" whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programing. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind , other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me, because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...

Self-Doubt & The Big Question Mark

I am fascinated by how many strong, courageous and successful people have layers upon layers of self-doubt.  Self-doubt creeps into almost every nook and cranny of their being. When others see them as bright, amazing and enjoyable, they see themselves as stupid, mediocre and a burden. This is where self-doubt interrupts the ability to achieve our internal and external dreams and aspirations. Self-Doubt - The Big Question Mark - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counselor, Coach and Reiki ...

Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That

It is very common for clients whom I work with, when asked what are you willing to do to grow or improve your situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and others, very deceptive and tricky. I take a deep breath and ask them are you willing to do____? Their enthusiasm and conviction that were on full display just a moment earlier disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that". Self-Sabotage - I Am Willing To Do Anything... But That - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counseling, Coaching and Reiki ...

We Can Still Be Crazy – Pema Chodron

We can practice meditation, Yoga, and Qi Gong every single day and night, and we can still be crazy! We can still be crazy if we practice all of the above, eat organic "healthy" foods, take herbs, and drink kombucha daily, and we can still be crazy. We can meet with an acknowledged expert in therapy or counseling, and we can still be crazy. In fact, it is possible that we may even become crazier if we diligently commit to these practices and follow them up with a 7-day cleanse and a weekly water fast. Nothing can guarantee that we will not be crazy. Nothing. Is the goal not to be crazy or to live an amazingly imperfect life that we get to be ourselves on a regular basis? Would you agree to practice daily if you knew you would never stop being crazy, BUT you would begin accepting yourself for who you really are? If you are curious about how we can still be crazy after daily meditation for years or decades, and that is OK, I invite you to read this short essay by Pema Chodron below. If you are unfamiliar with her and her work, please follow the link in the previous sentence; she is a living gem!  We Can Still Be Crazy - Pema Chodron - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counseling, Coaching and Reiki ...

Why Nice Guys Stay Single – So Do Bad Boys

When I first saw the heading "Why Nice Guys Stay Single", I rolled my eyes; at least I tried. I have never perfected eye-rolling. I thought to myself, "Another article written by a bitter, single woman who likes bad boys who treat her like shit". I was completely wrong. I have no idea if Kathryn Hogan is single, but she is definitely not bitter and incredibly perceptive. Here is a quote from this article; if this does not move you, there is no need to read further.
"What women—evolved, mature, powerful women—actually need is a man who embodies the divinity of manhood. This may sound mystical, but it’s not. Every man is sacred, can touch the sacred masculine within him, can be a man who stands in compassion, loyalty, and honor, who cares enough to realize that only his true, unfiltered presence is good enough for this world. A man with a powerful heart, who can hold a woman in his presence, who can weather her emotional storms, who is nourished by being near her, and sees her divinity, and gives endlessly of himself."
This article explores why being a nice guy will only get you so far. You must dive deeper into yourself and express everything that makes you. The real you. The authentic you. Nice guys are men that are hiding from themselves and the women they wish to connect with and love. No more Mr. Nice Guy (see Alice Cooper song below for kicks). Why Nice Guys Stay Single - Providence Holistic Counseling Services  
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