2 results for tag: Building Walls
Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That
It is very common for clients whom I work with, when asked what are you willing to do to grow or improve your situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and others, very deceptive and tricky.
I take a deep breath and ask them are you willing to do____? Their enthusiasm and conviction that were on full display just a moment earlier disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that".
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... Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, typically, we are either building bridges or building walls. When we are building bridges, we are working towards connection, intimacy and safety. In contrast, when we are building walls, we are moving towards distance, isolation and discomfort and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or building walls.
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