25 results for tag: Mindful dating
What Porcupines Can Teach Us About Making Love
How do we learn about making love? A book, our parents, porn, movies, TV, social media? How about porcupines? This is a hilarious and insightful video and article about relationships, sex, and making love. I will not add anything; please enjoy the video and reflection on making love....
Being Better Singles Group!
Come join the circle!
What are we doing?
Being Better Singles Group is a group of single people discussing their honest feelings on dating, relationships, drugs, love, sex, money, and work. We’ll pick a topic, trade stories, have a moderated discussion, and maybe scream, cry, or yell (if needed). We’ll dive in deep and not let fear keep us from expressing who we really are. We’ll explore what makes us amazing and far from amazing, where we need to grow in relationships, what gets in the way of of growing, how to trust ourselves and others and what obstacles get in the way of trust. We’ll find what environments support our safety, and how to set boundaries in those that don’t. Most importantly, we’ll just practice being our authentic selves....New Relationship Energy and Ethical Non-Monogamy
New relationship energy can be amazing, full of life and fresh air! Everything tastes and smells differently. Alarm clocks seem less annoying, laundry creates opportunity to recall recent memories of what I wore when we did ______, and traffic jams offer space for a few quick texts to say, "Hello and I miss you". There is a part of most of us that wishes we could hold on to these moments forever. But there can be an obstacle that this magical period produces. The transition to a potential long-term relationship and all that often accompanies this shift can feel disappointing and "normal" all too quickly. The alarm clock and traffic return to their annoying selves. Staying up till 2:00am talking is about whose turn it is to do the dishes or laundry instead of whose turn it is to receive a back rub or foot massage. It happens in a flash....
Do I Need to Heal Before Dating Again?
Do I need to heal before dating again? When is the right time to start dating again after a relationship? And, is the answer different if one is deciding whether they are ready to date or whether they are ready to get into a relationship again? These are not simple questions to answer, nor are they the same for each one of us.
For me, there are five essential questions to answer before dating again.
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The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence
Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills; insight, mutuality and emotional regulation. These skills effect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence wanting to discern if any of the three are not necessary, I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships.
I am interested what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of Joanne Davila on romantic competence!
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... Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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