10 results for tag: Self-Protection


9 Things your Therapist wants you to Know

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this essay on things your therapist wants you to know! As a counselor, I often want to share many of the elements the author describes below. Many people make assumptions about therapists and counselors and what we know, don't know, or what we are like when we are not meeting with clients. I tend to chuckle when folks assume that I am someone that goes to bed early, gets up at dawn to meditate, and rarely if ever, goes out and comes home late at night, which I do often! Therapists and counselors are rarely shocked by your experiences or traumas. For someone like me that has been doing this since 1993, I have been present with folks sharing their experiences, challenges, and obstacles for a long time. I have also experienced plenty in my own life. I am ready for whatever your particular brand of mess or chaos that is your life. We all have messes in our lives!...

This Sculpture Shows The Inner Child In Us – Love

We all have a little boy or little girl inside us, or both. Many people refer to this part of ourselves as the Inner Child. The term Inner Child gets used a lot these days, but what is the Inner Child? I like the description below. "The inner child lives in all of us; it is who we were before life happened to us. When the negative experiences of life happen in childhood, our inner child becomes fragmented. We disconnect from that vital aspect of ourselves and shove that part of our psyche down into the dark. As we grow up, the inner child is still very much alive, often dictating our responses to life. Those traumas that you experi...

You Look Weird Dancing Like That

I'm this guy. I am the weird guy on the dance floor, at Yoga class and the beach. I swim and play in the waves like a twelve year old. I am (mostly) comfortable in my skin and with people thinking I am weird.  I am aware that most people do not have that experience when people think or say they are weird. Many people feel like being "weird" is a criticism, insult or putdown, certainly not a compliment. I understand that when someone tells you they think you are weird, it may create doubt or as sense of not belonging or being "normal". It was not always like this for me. I was actually a DJ for decades in clubs and events that wouldn't dance because ...

18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors, since we have diverse training, backgrounds and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no", protecting yourself, letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace, are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list, "Feelings are not facts."  I wish we would all be able to integrate this nugget of wisdom in our lives!
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Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That

It is very common for clients whom I work with, when asked what are you willing to do to grow or improve your situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and others, very deceptive and tricky. I take a deep breath and ask them are you willing to do____? Their enthusiasm and conviction that were on full display just a moment earlier disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that". Self-Sabotage - I Am Willing To Do Anything... But That - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counseling, Coaching and Reiki ...

Building Bridges or Building Walls

In relationships, typically, we are either building bridges or building walls. When we are building bridges, we are working towards connection, intimacy and safety. In contrast, when we are building walls, we are moving towards distance, isolation and discomfort and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or building walls.   Building Bridges or Building Walls - Providence Holistic Counseling Services - Amaryllis Fox Everybody believes they are the good guy
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Rock Stars and Groupies: Narcissistic Co-Dependence in the Yoga Teacher-Student Relationship

Narcissistic co-dependence exists in many fields, not just the yoga teacher-student relationship. As the author mentions, narcissistic co-dependence is prevalent in the therapy and counseling community, it is a "thing" for sure. I can honestly say that I have experienced narcissistic co-dependence in relationships as both a student and a teacher through Reiki and other modalities of the spiritual community. Rock Stars and Groupies: Narcissistic Co-Dependence in the Yoga Teacher-Student Relationship - Providence Holistic Counseling Services - one does not become enlightened ...