“Elliot knew from our first session together that I saw him as basically a good person. As he remembered it later, he had told me his personal saga of relationship and work failures, and he expected I would conclude, as he had, that he was pretty hopeless. Instead, I said something like, “Oh, you’re not so bad.” I don’t remember saying that, but, as he told me, he had understood that I really did believe in his goodness.

“That’s why I kept coming back,” he said.

I’m often asked by clients like Elliot what to expect from someone who describes herself as a “contemplative psychotherapist.” Here are some of the key principles of contemplative counseling and psychotherapy that I would outline for a potential client. As I have studied and practiced mostly in the Vajrayana tradition of Buddhism, what I say here reflects that school’s approach.

Brilliant Sanity

Contemplative Psychotherapy is based on the view that all of us, no matter what our problems, are fundamentally awake and healthy. In some schools of Buddhism this is called our buddhanature, and in the Shambhala teachings it’s called our basic goodness. In the Contemplative Psychotherapy program here at Naropa University, it’s referred to as brilliant sanity.

The contemplative approach is an optimistic one, because it points to our capacity for clarity, compassion, mindfulness, and awareness.

The premise of Contemplative Psychotherapy is that we already have what we need to connect with our inherent wisdom and compassion. Therefore, a contemplative therapist is concerned primarily with helping clients reconnect with and develop confidence in their own inherent sanity. We are not, of course, always in touch with it—we have only to look around us to see there is much suffering, confusion, and violence in the world. Yet the contemplative approach is an optimistic one, because it points to our capacity for clarity, compassion, mindfulness, and awareness.

Catching a Glimpse

The experience of brilliant sanity cannot be completely captured in words. Instead, we tend to glimpse it in moments of clear-seeing and tender-heartedness. We might have a sense of being fully present when something surprises us. We might experience it in a time of unexpected joy, or in a period of intense grief or fear.

In such moments, we are simply right there with an open heart. Such glimpses have qualities of sharpness, tenderness, and letting go of thoughts. They might last just a few seconds, or they could last a lot longer.

For example, when people are about to have a car accident, they may see precisely what’s happening and take whatever steps they can to avoid further damage. They might feel slowed down and very clear. Then afterward, they might have lots of thoughts crowd in about what might have happened. They might have angry thoughts or frightened ones. As they get caught up in their thoughts, they lose touch with the sense of immediacy and clarity that characterize glimpses of brilliant sanity.

Direct Experience

It is only in the present moment that we can experience our basic sanity. Because we can experience it, even if we cannot nail it down with words, therapists with a contemplative approach emphasize what their clients directly experience. They may ask questions like, “What are you noticing in your body right now?” “What do you feel inside as you are talking about what happened last night?” and, “As you look around the room, what do you see and hear?”

Of course, contemplative therapists are interested in their clients’ stories, thoughts, and past, but they are less likely to turn therapy into an intellectual exploration of what went wrong and whom to blame. They are more interested in how what happened in the past is still manifesting in the present, not in the past for its own sake.

Obstacles to Experiencing Brilliant Sanity

If we have fundamental sanity, why are we so out of touch with it? Buddhism teaches that it is because we mistakenly believe we have some kind of solid and fixed identity. Sometimes this is called “ego,” but it is the same way the word is used in Western psychological theory. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of confusion.

The common use of the term “ego” refers to a sense of agency, an ability to use logic, or an ability to know one’s experience. These are not a problem. What is a problem is our attempt to create and hang on to our sense of self as permanent, separate, and solid. This is the way Buddhist psychology uses the word “ego.” Buddhism teaches that we don’t have such an identity, and all attempts to maintain it are doomed to failure because we are actually made up of experiences that keep changing.

The good news is that by letting go of our struggle to maintain a fixed sense of self, we can be more creative, flexible, and responsive to what arises in our experience.

A mistaken idea many have about Buddhism is that it’s about giving up ego. But we don’t have to give up something we don’t have. From the contemplative viewpoint, we never actually had such a fixed identity, so there’s nothing to give up except our mistaken beliefs about it. The good news is that by letting go of our struggle to maintain a fixed sense of self, we can be more creative, flexible, and responsive to what arises in our experience and in our relationships with others.

Another mistake we make is believing we are completely separate from each other. However, our experience is always interacting with and being influenced by the environment and other people. Thich Nhat Hanh says that we “inter-are.” Modern neuroscience also points out this interdependence.

In the language of Contemplative Psychotherapy, we exchange with each other. If I am working with a client who feels very angry, I might start to feel the bodily signs of anger in myself. I might feel agitated and hot; I might start to have angry thoughts. There could be several things going on, but one thing is that I could be exchanging with my client.

It can be a relief for some clients to learn about exchange, because it can help them make sense of past experiences. A client of mine grew up with a very depressed mother who could barely get off the couch most of the day. Realizing that she was exchanging with her mother helped my client let go of her belief that she was inescapably fated to being depressed herself.”

“The Therapist’s Own Practice

How can therapists provide all that nonjudgmental mindfulness, awareness, curiosity, compassion, and loving-kindness? By far the most important thing they can do is to have an ongoing mindfulness–awareness meditation practice of their own. Spending time on a daily basis being present with themselves and practicing letting go of their own confused thoughts and mindlessness is a powerful way for therapists to know themselves well.

Therapists who practice mindfulness–awareness meditation are less likely to confuse their own issues with their clients’. They are more able to recognize the difference in themselves between having a direct experience and thinking about an experience. Their practice helps them cut through any tendency to latch on to a fixed identity about themselves as better than or fundamentally different from their clients. Finally, meditation gives them the opportunity to make friends with themselves so that they can help their clients to do the same.”