Conversation about Having Racial Conversation Together

It’s about time we have some conversation about having racial conversation together. It is beginning to feel like it is getting harder and harder for us to share honestly about sensitive issues like race, culture and religion, just to name a few. How did we get here? In the spirit of making everybody feel safe, have we made everyone feel unsafe?

Racial Conversation – A Social Experiment

With all the fuss being made over the remarks of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, race has again made front-page news. There is a part of me that wants to stay completely removed from this whole racial conversation about remarks he made court side at one of his team’s games. There has been so much said about this I do not feel like I have anything new or different to add. As an avid sports fan my entire life with heroes like Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Roberto Clemente and Walt Frazier when I was growing up, this disgusts me. I am only bringing it up in terms of its relevance to our need for learning how to have positive racial conversation together. Unlike many of the other people who have given their opinions on this particular subject, I have been well-trained and experienced in working with race, culture and social groups.

Donald Sterling is one of the remaining dinosaurs from a generation that drew very clear social and racial lines. Growing up there were many Donald Sterling’s out there in the world, fortunately there is less than there used to be but they still exist. The generation that has come after me, they see race and culture through a much different lens. I am so grateful to begin to see young people having positive racial conversations. It gives me hope and inspires me that things may change one day. One of the not so obvious problems of the Donald Sterling situation is that the media has now found a villain for race, everybody can point at Donald Sterling and say he is a racist and nobody has to face their own institutional racism or systemic racism. Donald Sterling is America’s racial scapegoat now. All of the focus on systemic racism now points to the rich, white owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, not each other. It is time we have positive and honest racial conversation. We don’t have to hide anymore.

Guy Brings His White Girl To Barbershop In Harlem Hated On By Black Hairdresser

I remember when Pres. Barack Obama was debating on running for the office of president. Several of my friends and I had racial conversation about what impact on America having a president that only half white might facilitate. I remember some of my associates raising the concern that if Obama did get elected, many white people would think that this proves there is no longer racial discrimination in America. I am afraid our concerns were valid, people now use the line, “How can you say there’s racial discrimination in America? We have a black president.” Of course, we know that this perspective is both silly and inaccurate. It is sad that people who are prejudice will latch on to anything they can find to prove their place. Anyone who works in social services, counseling or social work can offer statistics on how affirmative action has benefited middle class white women more than people of color. That does not mean that people of color have not benefited, they have, but not as much as we had hoped and not as much as middle-class white women.

People have become so nervous in situations where racial conversation is the topic. We moved from an era about people not knowing how to talk without offending others to an era where people know how to talk without offending others that don’t know how to be honest in racial conversations. I have never been a big supporter of political correctness. I am a very large supporter of honesty that includes respect and integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say, just do it in a way that respects those who you are speaking about or with. When I’m facilitating trainings on race and culture I tend to focus more on issues of respect and integrity, than what words are okay to say and what words are not okay to say.

Racial Conversation with Kids

It’s time we learn how to have racial conversation without tiptoeing around but still respect each other and ourselves. We’ve grown to distrust each other so much, this saddens me. One of the many benefits of living in Asia is hearing their perspectives on race which they have learned from American TV and movies. Quite truthfully, it’s embarrassing what they have learned through our media. It is no wonder that people who do not enjoy racial and cultural privileges of Christian and white people experience such intense and relentless challenges to succeed and feel good about themselves. How many times can one here that you are stupid, ugly, worthless and a criminal before you start to believe it?

Moving The Racial Conversation Forward

At some point we as a people need to learn how to have positive racial conversation, we need to learn how to move the racial conversation forward. What are your ideas on creating positive racial conversation? What are your experiences with racial conversations?

What are some best practices for engaging in productive racial dialogue with others?

According to the founder of Find Black Therapist, EL Forestal, here are five best practices for engaging in productive racial dialogue:

Respect: Listen to others without judgment and be open to understanding a different perspective – don’t assume you know everything about the topic.
Connect and Understand: Take time to understand how people experience racism, prejudice, or discrimination in their everyday lives.
Empathize: Open your heart to feel the emotions of others and respond with compassion, not anger or defensiveness – be willing to learn more about each other.
Educate Yourself: Read books, watch documentaries, listen to podcasts and educate yourself so you can have meaningful conversations with others.
Share: Open up about your own experience or perspective and be willing to share the burden of having difficult conversations. Let others know that it’s ok to talk about race and racism in a constructive way.

By following these best practices, we can work together to foster productive racial dialogue that helps create a more just and equitable society.

We can strive to learn from each other, respect different perspectives, and move forward together with understanding and empathy.

Such conversations are essential for creating meaningful change that benefits all people. It is only through a collective effort can we build a more inclusive future for everyone.

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