There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying “no,” protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well.
My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: “Feelings are not facts.” I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
I want to take a moment to offer a couple of examples to illustrate this statement.
Example #1: You have been up all night full of anxiety and fear that someone is going to break into your home and attack you while sleeping. You have created multiple scenarios of how this is going to happen and how you will die. You never actually fall deep enough to achieve R.E.M. sleep, and this adds to your mental health challenges the next day. The fact that you experienced anxiety is real, but the feelings were based on a fictional story that was created by your imagination.
Example #2: Your partner has been constantly full of jealousy and distrust, believing that you are cheating on them or are about to. They become obsessed with checking your phone, emails, and schedule and tracking your location, and they constantly ask you to verify your whereabouts and actions. They show up at your job, classes, and other locations to check up on you, and it is causing stress and embarrassment in your life and your relationship. No matter what you tell them, they do not believe you. They feel jealous anytime you talk or text with someone else who is not a family member. They do not trust you, even though they have no past or present experiences that demonstrate you being dishonest or cheating. They feel jealous day and night. The fact that they feel jealous is real; the narratives in their head that these feelings are based on are not real.
Example #3: You are excelling in a class and currently have a 3.9 average through the first thirteen weeks of the semester. You are a Dean’s List student every semester and have a GPA of 3.89. In your head, you believe you are stupid and a failure. Your fear of failing is so strong that you consider dropping the class and possibly going out of school altogether since you are certain you will fail the class and university. You are a senior and will be considered for valedictorian at graduation. The most consistent feeling you experience is fear of failure. The feeling of fear of failing is real, but the reality is not.
Enjoy the pieces of advice from therapists and counselors.
18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice I’ve Received From Therapists
A therapist is invaluable in the life of those dealing with trauma and other issues, and they are also invaluable when you just need someone who can give you an honest, nonjudgmental opinion.
I have been in therapy a good part of my life. Seeking support to deal with a childhood that was littered with abuse by multiple perpetrators, both sexual and emotional. Sometimes, I misused therapy and did not take it seriously. I was too afraid to really open up and share how I was truly being impacted by my past and how that was bleeding over into my present life.
It was not until I was 36 years old that I entered a therapeutic relationship that was authentic, and I was open about my past and how it was impacting my daily life. This person was a good fit, which is so important when you are trying to talk about the most intimate details of your life.
Before I entered this therapeutic relationship, I was closed off and lost. Now, I am centered and focused consistently on healing. Do not get me wrong, we battle sometimes, and I have thoughts of quitting from time to time (that is usually when she is right about something and I am scared).
One thing I appreciate about her is her 30-plus years of work have led her to have a significant amount of wisdom I deeply value. She has imparted this wisdom on numerous occasions, and I am forever grateful.
I surveyed my friends and others, and added the gems I have received over time. I have listed here some advice from wise therapists that may also help you:
1. Feelings are not facts.
2. You have my permission to take a nap.
3. Stop trying to make lifers out of seasonal relationships (friends).
4. It’s not your fault.
5. Don’t be afraid to disconnect. To take time for yourself and put your needs first.
6. Your family and friends will still love you even when you say, “no.”
7. Stop holding on to friendships just because you have history. It’s OK to let go of relationships that no longer serve you.
8. It’s OK to unfollow people in real life.
9. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. You are one badass beautiful woman.
10. Stick to your boundaries!
11. Stop lying to yourself.
12. Many people will not like your no … and that’s OK.
13. You have to stop looking for the proper empathetic response from those you know and love.
14. Vulnerability and weakness aren’t interchangeable. They are two different things.
15. You have to teach people how to treat you.
16. Protect your peace and sanity no matter who you have to cut off!
Of all the advice from Therapists & Counselors above, which was the loudest for you? Is there any advice from Therapists & Counselors that you feel is universal that needs to be added to the list? Please add them to the comments below so that others may benefit.
Other Posts you may enjoy:
Building Bridges or Building Walls
Acknowledging Pain Is Highest Form of Support