8 results for tag: isolation
Co-Regulation and Healthy Relationships
Co-Regulation is when two people provide support for each other as a means of creating emotional safety, security, and connection. We need to connect with other people. It is that simple. There is a lot of information out there that convinces people that the goal is to be "self-sufficient", as if that is possible even if it were true. There never has been and never will be a time when being self-sufficient is best for us. Besides, we need food, shelter, the earth, sun and moon, water, air, clothing, beds, transportation, tools, machines, soil, trees, etc.; we need others whether we like it or not! We are not built to be self-sufficient, and that is a blessing!
We are wired to be connected with other people and possibly other species. Many of us were not taught or demonstrated how to do this in a healthy, safe manner. This makes the illusion of trying to be self-sufficient seductive and tempting. We want to find a more straightforward method than investing the time and energy required to build these safe and healthy relationships. We want an easy way out where it is unnecessary to lean into our fears of connection and intimacy.
Most folks are terrified of letting others in and allowing ourselves to be that vulnerable and exposed.So what do we do? We begin by creating inner safety and a sense of security that "I will be OK no matter what." This sense of safety and security provides the foundation for us to trust others because we know we are solid and secure. They may hurt us, but we will survive and, over time, thrive. Connection with others is what supports us in being independent....
Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money
Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments.
I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned.
I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?".
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... 10 COVID-19 Emotions You’re Not the Only One Having
This is an incredibly helpful and informative article on coping with COVID-19 emotions. The suggestions for identifying what we are experiencing and knowing we are not the only ones going through this challenging period in human history is supportive and inclusive. This is the first time in human history that such a global pandemic has occurred since the internet, news media and social media has been as entrenched in our lives as it is now.
We are experiencing an extremely high level of COVID-19 emotions that we're not present during other global pandemics. The reasons are two very critical situations - we did not know the specifics of what was happening throughout the world as we do now, and there is such a high degree of misinformation creating fear, confusion and distrust that did not exist previously. Anybody can post a blog on COVID-19 without any medical or pandemic knowledge or training, and find an audience of people that will believe them, make decisions based on the misinformation and spread false recommendations that others will share with others. This is harmful to our collective wellbeing on so many levels!
Please be gentle with yourself. You are NOT supposed to be OK. We are all experiencing a wide range of COVID-19 emotions that are loud and at times overwhelming. Please be gentle with yourself, and ask for help if needed.
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... Can You Go Crazy from Lack Of Touch? Life of the Skin-Hungry
We all need touch. We may feel like we don't, but we do. Even those among us that have suffered physical trauma from the hands of others need touch. For some people, touch may come with some challenges; this does not mean it is less important, needs some navigating for touch to be a positive experience.
What happens when we do not receive enough physical touch? The answer varies from person to person, but we all suffer from feeling "untouchable" or untouched. This may express itself as depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, aggression, anger, sadness, or many forms of physical or emotional pain. The key is to learn what means of touch and physical affection are most supportive to you and when.
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A Cure for Loneliness – How To Make Connects That Count
I am not aware of anyone who has not experienced loneliness at some point in their lives. Everyone experiences loneliness or isolation. For many, it is an ongoing struggle. People often assume that others that are always surrounded by friends and/or family do not experience loneliness. This assumption is not correct. We can experience loneliness no matter how many people are in our loves, loneliness is not an exclusive club for those who are shy, awkward or introverted. Loneliness can effect anyone, even "The Cool People".
Before we get to the article on A Cure For Loneliness, here is a short video with Johann Hari. He is a controversial author, journalist and explorer of life and people. He has great ideas, even if he is not always on target about why things are the way they are. I think you will enjoy his talk on loneliness. It is less than four minutes.
https://youtu.be/bC2Na1E3iVg
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Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, typically, we are either building bridges or building walls. When we are building bridges, we are working towards connection, intimacy and safety. In contrast, when we are building walls, we are moving towards distance, isolation and discomfort and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or building walls.
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