35 results for tag: Providence Sex Counseling
3 Reasons You Should Definitely Not Go To Therapy
This article is hysterical, insightful and well written. If you have never read Elephant Journal previously, I invite you to do so. The essays are interesting, relevant and thoughtful without any hype or propaganda. This essay on why NOT go to therapy is written by a therapist with her brand of honesty and humor. I can see me actually thinking from this perspective about thirty years ago. Feels very familiar. I have a lot to add, but am going to just offer you to read and digest on your own, but no matter what you do, don't go to therapy:)
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... Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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Hormones In Relationships – Are You a ‘Testosterone’ or a ‘Dopamine?’
We are all effected by hormones in relationships. I am fascinated by this work and its potential in understanding relationship choices exploring the impact of hormones in relationships. How does this influence our compatibility, or lack there of? I appreciate there are four distinct profile types; dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen, in no particular order. The fact that they move beyond the limitations of the two profile types of estrogen and testosterone feels more honest and accurate than defining folks by just the two hormones, and dismissing the effects of dopamine and serotonin. Hormones in relationships are a real thing and ...
Mindful Sex – A Solution To Unhappy Sex Lives
Mindful Sex. The words even sound funny together. Sex by its nature, is mindful enough, in theory. Why do we need mindful sex and what is mindful sex?
It is easy to decide, "This is the thing I need to do to fix my relationships and sex life". This is not one of those kinds of solutions, assuming such a thing exists. Mindful sex can be a gateway towards a more fulfilling and intimate experience of making love and intimacy. Mindful sex does not replace destructive, unfulfilling old habits or patterns. Mindful sex helps create new ones and revitalize those that were once joyful and alive! We still have to do our work.
Mindfulness and being present have become serious buzzwords in recent years. For those of us who have practiced these skills and arts for decades, it can sometimes feel like they are the latest in a long line of techniques in "microwave recovery" for whatever ails us. Here is the fascinating part, its true and has been for thousands of years! The packaging and terminology have changed but meditation, breathing, paying attention and being where we are right now are the foundations to most major psychological, religious and spiritual traditions. Ironically, people often label them as New Age practices, when in reality, they are older than "traditional" methods that people are finding are not as effective for us in today's world. Mindful sex is an extension of these practices. Again, there is nothing "new" to mindful sex. We have just given it a fancy, trendy name. It is like we used to call tropical rainforests, "jungles". There was minimal interest in preserving jungles, but tropical rainforests create an image that people want to support. We can think of mindful sex as undistracted sex while fully immersed in the experience. Who doesn't want deep, meaningful sexual and intimate experiences?
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... Tantra Is NOT Love – Tantra And Sacred Sex
This is a beautifully written essay on Tantra. I have some experience with Tantra but certainly not a teacher or expert. I have struggled with some Tantra practitioners assuming Tantra, and Sacred Love are the same. This has not felt true to me. This heartfelt dive into the essence of Sacred Love, Sacred Sex, and Tantra is what I have experienced without having the correct words or mastery to express it accurately.
... Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow
I first started becoming aware of spiritual bypassing a few years ago. My eyes opened wide as I was reading the page in front of me. "A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks" John Welwood & Tina Fossella. This was it! This was the thing I had been aware of for years in myself and others that I had not known what it was or how to describe it! I was so excited that there really was such a "thing" and it had a name. I have cut out parts of the article below, but most of the content on spiritual bypassing is included....
