9 results for tag: Elephant Journal
Fight Languages: How we Argue Is Key to Healthy Relationships
For those of you that have been reading my posts for a while, you are aware of The Rules For Fair Fighting in Relationships. Many of you know the Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, Ph.D. introduced. If not, you can learn about them easily here What are the 5 love languages? Fight Languages having a name is new to me. I understood the principles but did not have a term to express them.
How we fight with our partner(s), friends, family, and neighbors often defines the nature of our relationships. Understanding how your partner or friends/family argue is essential to creating thoughtful, loving resolutions, trust, and safety....
My Fantasy of the Dalai Lama was Shattered & I am Sad Today
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday and noticed that a friend I respect and admire had made a casual, sarcastic, and off-putting comment about the Dalai Lama.
My initial reaction was, “What the f*ck?”
Anger, betrayal, and rejection of my friend, not the Dalai Lama, rose inside me. She is not somebody who typically speaks harshly of people.
So, I did what we do in 2023. I did a Google search on the Dalai Lama. The first eight were articles about him and his life. When I read the ninth, my heart sank and my spine went limp for a split second.
“The Dalai Lama asks a boy to suck his tongue.”
I resisted opening the ...
Are you really being accountable?
In the last handful of years, there has been an increased focus on being accountable and taking responsibility for our actions. I have really appreciated seeing the energy and attention towards wanting to do and be better, primarily birthed by GenZ and Millennials. It’s about time!
But are we truly being accountable, or are we just telling people what we’ve done wrong and why we did it?
I invite you to read the full article on being accountable including the steps to cleaning up mistakes here: Are you really being accountable?
Being responsible and accountable is about changing our behaviors, and the patterns that ...
Empath or Trauma Response?
Are you an empath or trauma responses being expressed from childhood? In recent years there are a number of people that have identified themselves as empaths that express an attitude of superiority to those who are not empaths. They think they are "special". I find this troubling on multiple levels. An empath is not something that you train or study to become, it is typically a response to childhood trauma and heightened sense of vigilance.
Is experiencing a challenging childhood a reason to feel superior to others?
... Being Sober – Alcoholism Is About Pain; Not Drinking Too Much
Getting and staying sober is a monumental task. It takes an incredible amount effort and commitment, especially in the beginning. Getting sober isn't the goal though. The goal is to become at minimum a decent human being, if not an exceptional one. Somehow our culture has created this illusional that staying sober is the destination, it's not even close. Getting sober is the springboard to something better. Staying sober is not the goal like getting married isn't the goal in a relationship. The goal for both alcoholics and marriages is to be healthy, balanced and live your best life with solid, sustainable relationships that support love, connection and respect.
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... 3 Reasons You Should Definitely Not Go To Therapy
This article is hysterical, insightful and well written. If you have never read Elephant Journal previously, I invite you to do so. The essays are interesting, relevant and thoughtful without any hype or propaganda. This essay on why NOT go to therapy is written by a therapist with her brand of honesty and humor. I can see me actually thinking from this perspective about thirty years ago. Feels very familiar. I have a lot to add, but am going to just offer you to read and digest on your own, but no matter what you do, don't go to therapy:)
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