29 results for tag: Providence Dating Coach
New Relationship Energy and Ethical Non-Monogamy
New relationship energy can be amazing, full of life and fresh air! Everything tastes and smells differently. Alarm clocks seem less annoying, laundry creates opportunity to recall recent memories of what I wore when we did ______, and traffic jams offer space for a few quick texts to say, "Hello and I miss you". There is a part of most of us that wishes we could hold on to these moments forever. But there can be an obstacle that this magical period produces. The transition to a potential long-term relationship and all that often accompanies this shift can feel disappointing and "normal" all too quickly. The alarm clock and traffic return to their annoying selves. Staying up till 2:00am talking is about whose turn it is to do the dishes or laundry instead of whose turn it is to receive a back rub or foot massage. It happens in a flash....
Do I Need to Heal Before Dating Again?
Do I need to heal before dating again? When is the right time to start dating again after a relationship? And, is the answer different if one is deciding whether they are ready to date or whether they are ready to get into a relationship again? These are not simple questions to answer, nor are they the same for each one of us.
For me, there are five essential questions to answer before dating again.
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Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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Hormones In Relationships – Are You a ‘Testosterone’ or a ‘Dopamine?’
We are all effected by hormones in relationships. I am fascinated by this work and its potential in understanding relationship choices exploring the impact of hormones in relationships. How does this influence our compatibility, or lack there of? I appreciate there are four distinct profile types; dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen, in no particular order. The fact that they move beyond the limitations of the two profile types of estrogen and testosterone feels more honest and accurate than defining folks by just the two hormones, and dismissing the effects of dopamine and serotonin. Hormones in relationships are a real thing and ...
Listen To Their Story – Ex-CIA Undercover Officer
The video below is titled "Former Undercover CIA Officer Talks War And Peace". While I was listening and watching, what was loudest to me is how this applies to everyday life, not just foreign wars. What if we listen to their story as a practice we all keep when trying to resolve conflicts with partners, lovers, friends, family, neighbors and co-workers?
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... Self-Perception: Beth
It was 1993 and I had recently moved to a new area of New Jersey where I knew few people. We were both attending meetings of the same self-help group. It had been six months since the first time I saw Beth. I fell for her before she even opened her mouth. She was soft, warm and genuine in her walk and demeanor. When she opened her mouth to speak, there were no more questions, I wanted to get to know her. Thew only thing between Beth and I was self-perception, mine.
Self-Perception and Shyness
A common trait for me then and now, is being shy and intimidated by women I find attractive. Besides the obvious challenge of shyness, I would behave differe...
