77 results for tag: Change Behavior
Meditation Training in Rhode Island!
I am very excited to offer a Meditation Training in Rhode Island! This three-part series will be excellent for beginners and those who already have a meditation practice. We will cover the basics of meditation, and various styles and methods. We will have real life experiences with each style plus time to practice. This meditation training series is constructed so that you will have two weeks between each session to practice.
Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better, it’s about befriending who we are. – Ani Pema Chodron ...
Personal and Spiritual Development Group!
Personal & Spiritual Development Group Elements
1) Each group session will begin with a quick check-in to help us be present.
2) We will move into a guided meditation.
3) A topic will be introduced.
4) A discussion of the topic will emerge.
5) The group will engage in processing the topic, along with anything that comes up organically in discussion.This will be the largest allotment of our time together.
6) We will complete our session with a closing meditation together.
What forms of meditation will we experience?
We will practice and experiment with several forms of sitting meditation including breath watching, mantra, chanting, ...
Anger A Secondary Emotion – What Are We Protecting?
Many years ago, the psychologist who turned my life around once told me, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger. The primary emotion is typically fear, sometimes sadness or pain." Of course, I became even angrier when she said this! I remember thinking, "Fear, I am not scared of anything. I'm pissed off, not scared!" Her words haunted me. In the following weeks and months, every time I became angry, I often heard her in the back of my head whispering, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger." Notice how the fear part was left out of my process? Eventually, the part about fear also made its way into my process. That is when the shift began for me.
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Can You Go Crazy from Lack Of Touch? Life of the Skin-Hungry
We all need touch. We may feel like we don't, but we do. Even those among us that have suffered physical trauma from the hands of others need touch. For some people, touch may come with some challenges; this does not mean it is less important, needs some navigating for touch to be a positive experience.
What happens when we do not receive enough physical touch? The answer varies from person to person, but we all suffer from feeling "untouchable" or untouched. This may express itself as depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, aggression, anger, sadness, or many forms of physical or emotional pain. The key is to learn what means of touch and physical affection are most supportive to you and when.
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Change Is Possible – Change Really Is Possible
I am often asked a question that baffles me, "Can people REALLY change?". I am baffled because it astounds me that people do not recognize how we are all changing in large and small ways all the time. However, I do relate to the experience of feeling hopeless that I cannot change enough to enjoy life. This I understand. I can still recall clearly that night in October of 1989 when for a moment I felt life was not worth living. An image flashed across my mind of driving my car into my then girlfriend, who was standing right in front of me, followed by me crashing into the large oak tree across the street. It was clear in my mind. We were arguing in the street outside of her house in front of my car. In that moment, it made complete sense to me. I felt like there was no other viable option.
At the time, I was six months clean and sober in so-called recovery, things did not feel better. In fact, they felt worse. I did not believe I could change. I did not believe life could or would improve. I did not believe I was capable of rigorous honesty as the A.A. Preamble stated; "Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." I believed that I was not capable of being honest with myself, therefore, I could not recover. I was wrong.
A man who was forty years sober then told me if I wanted to change, I needed to tie my shoes differently. That was the beginning. All the successes I have enjoyed since that night began with one small choice. This is not some cute fable or a new age platitude. This is my real-life experience of change and growth.
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... Want To Get Great At Something? Get A Coach!
We all need an excellent coach. I have had many amazing coaching and mentoring experiences in my life. When I was younger, the coaches were primarily with my involvement with sports. Some of my sports coaches were great at bringing out the best in me and others. Other coaches did not have the right acumen for this role and impeded the growth and development of players, including myself. Being good at something does not make you an excellent coach. And, as Atul Gawande explains in detail, excelling at something does not mean you have reached your potential. Why not be the best you can be?
When I began my journey as a social worker and counselor, my supervisors became interested in me and improved my skill set. They simultaneously pushed me beyond my perceived limitations while supporting my work. Many coaches ASSUME that you either have to push somebody hard or take their hand and gently guide them. A good coach seamlessly and instinctively knows when and how to apply each strategy. A good coach knows your strengths and obstacles to success and is willing to manage the resistance that the ego will place in the way as a hindrance. Generally speaking, the ego is the greatest obstacle to sustained growth and development. The ego may express itself as overconfidence or lack of confidence. They both are an imbalance of humility.
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... Mindful Sex – A Solution To Unhappy Sex Lives
Mindful Sex. The words even sound funny together. Sex by its nature, is mindful enough, in theory. Why do we need mindful sex and what is mindful sex?
It is easy to decide, "This is the thing I need to do to fix my relationships and sex life". This is not one of those kinds of solutions, assuming such a thing exists. Mindful sex can be a gateway towards a more fulfilling and intimate experience of making love and intimacy. Mindful sex does not replace destructive, unfulfilling old habits or patterns. Mindful sex helps create new ones and revitalize those that were once joyful and alive! We still have to do our work.
Mindfulness and being present have become serious buzzwords in recent years. For those of us who have practiced these skills and arts for decades, it can sometimes feel like they are the latest in a long line of techniques in "microwave recovery" for whatever ails us. Here is the fascinating part, its true and has been for thousands of years! The packaging and terminology have changed but meditation, breathing, paying attention and being where we are right now are the foundations to most major psychological, religious and spiritual traditions. Ironically, people often label them as New Age practices, when in reality, they are older than "traditional" methods that people are finding are not as effective for us in today's world. Mindful sex is an extension of these practices. Again, there is nothing "new" to mindful sex. We have just given it a fancy, trendy name. It is like we used to call tropical rainforests, "jungles". There was minimal interest in preserving jungles, but tropical rainforests create an image that people want to support. We can think of mindful sex as undistracted sex while fully immersed in the experience. Who doesn't want deep, meaningful sexual and intimate experiences?
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