26 results for tag: Trust
When Trauma Blocking Gets in the Way
Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money
Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments.
I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned.
I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?".
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... Rules For Fair Fighting In Relationships
Rules for fair fighting. It sounds like an oxymoron. If you take a minute to reflect, most of us suck when it comes to arguing and fighting with the people we love. I was not talking about your partner, I'm talking about you. Me too. Of all the things that we are taught by our families, friends, schools, and culture, it is rare that children are well-trained in how to manage conflict in a meaningful and productive way. Let's explore one of the many sets of rules for fair fighting in relationships together.
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... Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow
I first started becoming aware of spiritual bypassing a few years ago. My eyes opened wide as I was reading the page in front of me. "A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks" John Welwood & Tina Fossella. This was it! This was the thing I had been aware of for years in myself and others that I had not known what it was or how to describe it! I was so excited that there really was such a "thing" and it had a name. I have cut out parts of the article below, but most of the content on spiritual bypassing is included....
Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, typically, we are either building bridges or building walls. When we are building bridges, we are working towards connection, intimacy and safety. In contrast, when we are building walls, we are moving towards distance, isolation and discomfort and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or building walls.
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Open Up – School of Life
Open Up, a short video demonstrating the power of honesty and sharing our secrets. Communication is essential to creating and maintaining positive relationships. The risk seems too great but is it really? I encourage you to explore which is a greater risk, isolation and silence or sharing and connection?
