7 results for tag: Multiracial Couples Counseling

What I Wish I’d Known Before Moving in Together

Moving in together can be a glorious and stressful experience. The prospect of sharing space, bills, meals, conversation and a bed can be incredibly exciting.

What happens if it doesn't work out?

What happens if it does work out?

Do we really know each other well enough yet?

Early in the pandemic, I ended up working with several couples who had just started dating before the pandemic, and decided moving in together to have someone to quarantine with sounded better than being alone. I mean, we had no idea how long we were going to be quarantining, so why not? I recognize how funny this sounds, but, why not? Couples have been thrown together into arranged marriages for millennium after first meeting each other. It is not like this is a new process.

I really enjoyed the experience of working with new couples just after moving in together, being around each other 24/7 while working or going to school remotely, or not having any work or school, just staying home all day together. In case you are curious, many succeeded. In fact, two got married the following year and started families together!

Moving in together is not a straightforward process. Patience and flexibility are required while figuring out how to mesh two complete lives together. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did on moving in together....

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late is a statement I have heard much too often. This is also true for people that are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship

Being alone. One of the greatest fears many people experience. Those in difficult and/or toxic relationships debate between being alone and being in a bad relationship often, even daily. Being alone can be a terrifying fear that can create desperation and self-destruction.

How do we know when a relationship has gotten to the point that being alone is less challenging than being present?...

18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors, since we have diverse training, backgrounds and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no", protecting yourself, letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace, are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list, "Feelings are not facts."  I wish we would all be able to integrate this nugget of wisdom in our lives!
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Green Flags For Your Relationship

We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships, and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags are an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships. Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being able to be your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone that you do not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...

Red Flags For Your Relationships

We have all been there, the red flags in a new relationship. When launching a new relationship, we see these little signs that are instincts tell us "RUN" but we don't listen. They are attractive, fun or funny, maybe they have a good job or career or maybe they are just so different than the last relationship that ANYTHING feels like an upgrade. These red flags are not always obvious to us when oxytocin is released in our bodies and everything feels magical.

"Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are often referred to as our “happy hormones.” When you’re attracted to another person, your brain releases dopamine, your serotonin levels increase, and oxytocin is produced. This causes you to feel a surge of positive emotion." Adrienne Santos-Longhurst  on Healthline.

When these hormones are released, we are not always able to make intelligent, thoughtful decisions. We tend to act impulsively and jump into a relationship based on the experiences that these hormones produce in us. We tend to attach the good feelings with the person and ASSUME they are the cause of this new found sense of joy and vitality. Sometimes they are the reasons we feel the way we do early in the relationship, sometimes it is just these specific hormones are doing what they are supposed to do, create offspring. This is why paying attention to red flags in a new relationship is so vital to its sustainable success and our wellbeing....

Cultural Competency & 7 Things You Should Expect from a Mental Health Professional

I am incredibly grateful for the experiences of working with the Urban League for several years. The National Urban League works to provide economic empowerment, educational opportunities and the guarantee of civil rights for the underserved in America. I had the opportunity to work with and be supervised by many excellent social workers, community organizers and counselors that trained me in culturally competency as a mental health professional and social worker. Of course,  there is always more to learn. There are so many different cultures, religions and sub-cultures both here in the United Sates and around the world, it is impossible to truly achieve cultural competency. However, we can continue to learn and grow to support our communities to the best of our ability. Cultural competency is a process. not a static destination.

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