41 results for tag: Providence Couples Counseling
The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence
Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills; insight, mutuality and emotional regulation. These skills effect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence wanting to discern if any of the three are not necessary, I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships.
I am interested what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of Joanne Davila on romantic competence!
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... Great Relationships Are Not Accidents
Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug with written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious; trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....
Green Flags For Your Relationship
We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships, and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags are an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships.
Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being able to be your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone that you do not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...
The Real Reason Women Leave Men – Trust and Safety
I am not a fan of clickbait headlines. I saw this today on The Good Man Project, and that was enough for me to read it and see if there was substance to the sensationalistic tagline. There is definitely content here worth the time to explore why women leave men. Of course, relationships can be very complicated, and the reason Matthew Fray offers is simplistic but valid and credible. I encourage you to invest the time to read his post on why women leave men.
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... 3 Reasons You Should Definitely Not Go To Therapy
This article is hysterical, insightful and well written. If you have never read Elephant Journal previously, I invite you to do so. The essays are interesting, relevant and thoughtful without any hype or propaganda. This essay on why NOT go to therapy is written by a therapist with her brand of honesty and humor. I can see me actually thinking from this perspective about thirty years ago. Feels very familiar. I have a lot to add, but am going to just offer you to read and digest on your own, but no matter what you do, don't go to therapy:)
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... Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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