Race & Culture
Stop Trying To Fix Me – I Am Not Broken
I am not broken. As often is the case when we try to "fix" somebody, we inadvertently tell them we think they are broken. Why would something need to be "fixed" if it is not broken? This poem by Jeff Foster is a beautiful Illustration of a person who has the strength and courage to say, "I am not broken!". I am not lost cat with a broken leg, a muffler or a hot water heater. I am a human being that deserves respect, care, affection and attention. I am not broken. It is not your job to fix me, nor is it wanted or helpful. Love me instead....
Why Connection Matters
Connection matters. It is easy to forget how important connecting with others is, but connection matters. Having a sense of belonging and acceptance can be essential to our sense of self, safety, and trust. I generally do not publish posts this long, but it felt like all three excerpts helped create a full picture of why connection matters. I would like to add one element to the discussion of why connection matters.
This is similar to when people use the inaccurate phrase, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." My experience has demonstrated that we can't know ourselves without being connected to others to reflect who we really are, not who we want to believe we are, so we feel better about ourselves. I know deep inside that I am a thoughtful, compassionate, and caring human being because those character traits are expressed easily and organically when I am connected with other humans. When I am not connected with other humans, I have to rely on my current self-assessment to determine if those things are true or not. History has taught me, and most of us, that our inner narrative is typically either false or one of many parts of a whole self, not the actual whole person.
The problem with the statement, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." is that very few people, if any, can love themselves without experiencing love in their life. We need to feel love in order to love ourselves. We have to actually know what love feels like in order to love ourselves. This is another reason why connection matters. When we feel connected and have a sense of belonging, is much easier to love ourselves and others. Without feeling love, I can be a bit of a crapshoot....
This Sculpture Shows The Inner Child In Us – Love
18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors
Great Relationships Are Not Accidents
Cultural Competency & 7 Things You Should Expect from a Mental Health Professional
I am incredibly grateful for the experiences of working with the Urban League for several years. The National Urban League works to provide economic empowerment, educational opportunities and the guarantee of civil rights for the underserved in America. I had the opportunity to work with and be supervised by many excellent social workers, community organizers and counselors that trained me in culturally competency as a mental health professional and social worker. Of course, there is always more to learn. There are so many different cultures, religions and sub-cultures both here in the United Sates and around the world, it is impossible to truly achieve cultural competency. However, we can continue to learn and grow to support our communities to the best of our ability. Cultural competency is a process. not a static destination.
